Home for a Lifetime

I read a Retire In Style blog post and was struck by two obvious points:

• Different people want different things out of the end of their lives.
• “Aging In Place” is in the eye of the beholder.

I agree, I don’t want what you want and I may not want what other’s want.

I am concerned that the rest of the people reaching their senior years just haven’t thought about it at all. Even at an older age, what you want won’t ‘happen by magic’. You have to identify it, plan for it and move towards your goal, whatever it is.

For most people, life just happens. Decisions have to be made when times are stressful, and sometimes they have to be made by someone else. Families can’t agree, and no-one is happy. Not to mention guilt. There’s always room for lot of that.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you developed a 5 year plan to guide you? Where do you want to be in 5 years?

• Do you want to be among your peers, where you can walk to an afternoon’s entertainment?
• Do you want to be among mixed generations, even if that means being alone during the workday, but open to other activities in the late afternoon and evening?
• Will you need to be cared for by professionals? In what setting?
• Do you want to be in a city, where activities abound, or in the country where it’s beautiful and quiet, or somewhere in between?
• Do you wish to pursue athletics, like golf or bowling, travel, or attend lectures? Do you want a weekly bridge or poker game?

Just because you’ve planned doesn’t mean you’re trapped into the decision, but, planning backwards in time, you know that you won’t achieve your goal if you don’t start some of the activities needed to get where you want to be:

• Visit or vacation where you think you’d like to be.
• Make sure your financials are okay for what you have in mind.
• Talk with friends and acquaintances that are doing what interests you.

So what has this to do with Aging In Place? Whatever it is you want to do, you have to live somewhere. If that happens to be in a private dwelling, you’ll want to be sure that you are safe and comfortable.

• Perhaps your 5 year plan includes some constrction of a kitchen or bedroom suite that modernizes your current home while accommodating your changing needs.
• Perhaps your 5 year plan includes preparing for downsizing your stuff, for you plan to move to a much smaller environment.
• Perhaps it is lining up a handyman or contractor to add just a few changes to provide more light or safety to your home.

Wherever your age, comfort and safety won’t ‘happen by magic’. You have to plan to get there.

I love the new design trend “Undecorate“. It’s the idea that you don’t have to spend a lot of money on fancy furnishings and an interior designer to have a beautiful home. Though I’m not sure it’ll do much for the Interior Design professionals, unless people now hire them to undecorate what they’ve previously had decorated!

My family has been at the forefront of this design trend for years. We don’t have perfectly stylized rooms or even matching furnishings for that matter. We just have what fits us and our family. Perhaps it’s called frugality or it’s the limitations of having a home with small children (who wants to spend a lot on something that’s likely to get stains and crayon on it?) We just like what we like and to heck with the perfectly decorated living spaces.

So, yes, I like the idea of Undecorating… it’s homey. That’s what most of us want right? Something that fits our own personal sense of style. Even when it comes to aging in place products, we don’t want to give up the style of our home that we’ve spent so long to develop.

Honestly, who wants to add things to their home that will make it uglier? Institutional-style grab bars, run-of-the-mill lever door handles, and public bathroom-style automatic faucets don’t belong in our home! Thank goodness we have other beautiful options!

There are MANY more grab bar options than ever before; colors, shapes and styles that can fit any personal preference; lever handles are available from simple to ornate; and automatic faucets or faucets with lever handles have too many options and styles to mention. So, join in the craze. UNDECORATE while you add safety and accessibility features that fit your home and your style.

By the time this blog is posted, the Royal Wedding may be a distant memory, but having watched it only this morning; it is still fresh in my mind. The majesty of the event was almost tangible. No one does grandeur and pageantry quite like the British Royal family.

It was also incredibly clear that no one seems to age quite as well as the British Royals! Queen Elizabeth is 85 years old, and besides an occasional illness, she is extremely vital, capable, and to all accounts, attentive to all who meet her. I had the pleasure of previously working with a woman who had visited with the queen on several occasions (her husband was a high-ranking UK civil servant). Her account of the meetings always surprised me. Although the Queen meets thousands of people each year, she always learns enough about each of her guests to put them at ease with pleasant small talk about their lives and the purpose of their visit.

Does she have to do this? No, not really, she’s the Queen of England. She can do pretty much whatever she wants.

I’m not here to tout the greatest of royalty. Instead, I’m curious how the Queen remains so keen and focused even into her mid-eighties, while keeping up with her incredibly busy schedule. Yes, it’s true, she has staff that takes care of many daily details (no cooking or housekeeping for her!), but she still needs incredible stamina to keep up the regime.

And, she is, of course, aging in place! I wonder what grab bars she has in her shower, whether she’d benefit from a silk encased swivel seat to help her get out of her carriage, or perhaps a diamond studded rollator is in her future. Additionally, as you may know, the Queen is not allowed to be touched (thus the curtsies rather than handshakes), so she may eventually need a golden bottom buddy.

Can you think of any other products the Queen may appreciate to help her age in place while maintaining her dignity?